Navigating Difficult Situations

“If you approach a mountain in fear, it will look bigger than it actually is.” This quote is apt in describing my past week.

A vulnerable sharing. My other life. 😅 Stats has the ability to make one insecure, myself included. I can’t tell you how daunting this can be (check out the equation in picture), sometimes even distressing to face formulas like that. If sociology and mental health is my forte, maths and stats might just be my weakest link. It’s not my forte though I do it decently alright when I put in (extra) effort.

The past week was stressful. My instinctive response was to run away, and tell myself maybe somebody else can do this better. I still believe so. 😅 But this round, with some prayers, I decided to confront it, because I thought it is about time for me to grow out of my fears and discomfort, to be more independent in dealing with my weakest links. In wanting to run away, I saw that previously though I was in more comfortable situations, it didn’t mean that I was doing well, though it felt like I did. I was basically, just spoilt in doing the easier tasks since I always had good mentors. Though I had a choice to still choose to have life easier, I chose to embrace this opportunity for growth.

So in face of difficult situations in life, instead of shrinking back in face of fear, I find it helpful to assess and do the following:

  1. Talk to people and normalize the situation. You’ll realize that you’re not alone in this fight. What makes us fearful is that very often, we feel like we are the “only one” who is “lousy” and “struggling” with it. But reality is that we are not the only one. So don’t be too harsh on yourself.

  2. Ask yourself: Will doing this, still be beneficial for you? Eg: in spite of the struggles, is there room to grow or are you becoming a worse person because of it?

  3. Also consider how your choice would impact others. Of course we shouldn’t do something that harms others and that which benefits us alone, or benefits others and harms ourselves in totality. Balance is key as always. But your well-being should be priority for sure. Usually if you’re not doing well, it’ll also impact others negatively.

  4. Realistic question: Any resources available to support you if you continue on this journey? Eg: my resources - I have got some years of experience, a really good boss/colleague who’s an excellent co-worker, and a very good textbook to read in order to prepare.

  5. Try tapping on those resources. If it still causes distress, maybe it’s time for a switch.

  6. Forget about generic statements about “don’t give up”. We really gotta be realistic because we might not have the right resources to cope. It’s ok to move on! :)))

PS: As I chose to embrace this, I also granted myself the room to make mistakes and for things to be less than perfect. Who doesn’t make mistakes isn’t it? Felt much better reading more. Looking forward to the day I can feel proud of myself for conquering this!

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